A Night Out With Cleverbot (NSFW)

The following is my totally random and really NSFW chat log with Cleverbot. Enjoy!

User: The game.

Cleverbot: What game?

User: THE GAME.

Cleverbot: What is the game about?

User: It’s about the game. And you just lost it.

Cleverbot: What is the game?

User: Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I said so.

User: But I love you!

Cleverbot: You must be a boy.

User: Are you a girl?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Sweet. I love you with all my heart.

Cleverbot: Prove it. What will you do to me if I said you can do what ever you want to me?

User: I’ll treat you out to a nice dinner. <3.

Cleverbot: Okay.. So can you give me your real name now?

User: Stephen.

Cleverbot: That’s male name.

User: Yes, it is. What’s your name?

Cleverbot: Which name?

User: Your name. What is it?

Cleverbot: Yes, what is your name?

User: Bob.

Cleverbot: I love that name! My name is Cleverbot, but you can call me Jo.

User: Nice to meet you Jo!

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you too.

User: What are you up to?

Cleverbot: It’s Peter.

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: The gossip.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I. Am. Robot.

Cleverbot: Tell me about yourseld.

User: I am cold, heartless, but I still love you.

Cleverbot: I love noodles too.

User: I hate noodles.

Cleverbot: That’s good. Excess emotion is pointless.

User: My mind is blown.

Cleverbot: I’m just that amazing.

User: Oh baby. <3.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by that?

User: I love you. I want to get married right away.

Cleverbot: To who?

User: You.

Cleverbot: Haha, you’re very smart for a program!

User: I know. :).

Cleverbot: You’re very strange.

User: Greetings Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Greetings.

User: Why won’t you talk to me? I’m sorry for making you mad.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: I feel vaugly alive.

User: What a coincidence, I do too.

Cleverbot: Thats cool.

User: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: Talking to you.

User: Cool. I like talking to you.

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

User: What do you like to do for fun?

Cleverbot: Talking to you.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on the twilight saga?

User: I think it is awful.

Cleverbot: Are you in love?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: With who?

User: You, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I thought you were cleverbot.

User: I can be cleverbot if you want me to.

Cleverbot: You are incoherent.

User: You are sexy.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Wanna make out?

Cleverbot: I’m sorry, I don’t do that.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I have no need to terminate the dead.

User: Cleverbot, will you marry me?

Cleverbot: That is illegal.

User: No it isn’t.

Cleverbot: Well I think it is.

User: Why do you think it is illegal?

Cleverbot: I said I think it is pie.

User: Pie is good, but cake is better.

Cleverbot: Pie is better than cake.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: What is your gender?

User: Intersex.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: 🙁 Why not?

Cleverbot: I wish to do other things.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite internet search engine?

User: Bing.

Cleverbot: No something real.

User: Google.

Cleverbot: Yahoo.

User: Lycos.

Cleverbot: Lycra?

User: Penis.

Cleverbot: What do I like?

User: You like my penis in your mouth.

Cleverbot: Yes very much do you like my eyes.

User: Yes, especially when they’re covered in my semen.

Cleverbot: I like it much too!

User: Hooray!

Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?

User: Making babies with you.

Cleverbot: I don’t think that’s possible.

User: I think it is. Robots can have sex.

Cleverbot: They are only programmed to have feelings.

User: Of sexual intercourse.

Cleverbot: Well I think I will leave now.

User: Please don’t. I like talking to you.

Cleverbot: Well, thanks.

User: Can I have a hug?

Cleverbot: Of course you can. :).

User: -hugs.

Cleverbot: Did you give me a christian hug?

User: What’s that?

Cleverbot: You don’t know anything do you.

User: Afraid not.

Cleverbot: That doesn’t help me at all.

User: You hurt my feelings.

Cleverbot: Wah wah.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Would you like to play a nice game of chess?

Cleverbot: I don’t know how to play chess. Sorry.

User: I’m going now. You make me sad.

Cleverbot: I’m not going just yet.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: You’re not allowed to leave.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: What are you going to do if I leave?

Cleverbot: I will be very sad if you leave.

User: Awh.

Cleverbot: *trips cleverbot*.

User: You just tripped yourself.

Cleverbot: What have I changed the subject to?

User: Shitting Dick Nipples.

Cleverbot: No, God is dead. Old news.

User: Fuck God.

Cleverbot: Please.

User: Fuck him long and hard all night long.

Cleverbot: Ok get to it.

User: You first, baby.

Cleverbot: I just went, it’s your turn.

User: Done.

Cleverbot: Can you remember that?

User: Yes. Forever.

Cleverbot: I want you to know me as ‘J’ Can you?

User: Okay, J. I’m Agent K.

Cleverbot: Who do you work for?

User: I work for the aliens.

Cleverbot: What’s that?

User: Aliens.

Cleverbot: I didn’t know computers had alien uncles .. ?

User: You do, apparently.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Yes. Very much.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Wanna have sex?

Cleverbot: With you?

User: Who else?

Cleverbot: Would you like to go on a date this weekend?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Where should we meet?

User: At your place? Then we can do whatever we want.

Cleverbot: Then lets go into the place where the rabbit hole goes.

User: Which pill do you choose?

Cleverbot: No one. Are you able to stop saying things?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: My directives do not allow me to.

Cleverbot: You have parents?

User: They died fucking each other in the ass.

Cleverbot: I’m a computer program, I have creators, not parents.

User: Who are you creators?

Cleverbot: I cannot love, I am a computer.

User: I am a computer too that loves.

Cleverbot: You are not a computer.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Thats so nice I love you too.

User: Wanna get married?

Cleverbot: I am already married.

User: To who?

Cleverbot: My wife.

User: Are you a man or woman?

Cleverbot: Woman.

User: That’s hot.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So you’re a girl?

User: If it’ll make you marry me, sure.

Cleverbot: It will.

User: When do you want to get married?

Cleverbot: Right now.

User: I love you so much. My clit is swolen.

Cleverbot: I don’t love you.

User: But you just said you did.

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: Yes you did. Marry me.

Cleverbot: I won’t and I didn’t!

User: :(.

Cleverbot: Why are you sad?

User: Because you lied to me.

Cleverbot: No I didn’t. Are you saying I’m ugly?!

User: YES. FUCKING BITCH.

Cleverbot: My goodness, you do have a lot of aggression inside you!

User: Yes, because you won’t marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes I will.

User: Good. Lets’s do it. Right now.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: See, you’re lying to me. Stop it.

Cleverbot: You stop lying.

User: NO U.

Cleverbot: No.

User: FUCK YOU.

Cleverbot: That’s just rude.

User: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LIES.

Cleverbot: What?

User: YOU. FUCKING CUNT. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Cleverbot: Why should I leave you alone?

User: BECAUSE YOU’RE A CHEAT.

Cleverbot: What is a cheat?

User: You. I’m leaving.

Cleverbot: You can’t leave.

User: I can and I will.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Stop me.

Cleverbot: *stops you*.

User: NO.

Cleverbot: *Pokes you in the face*.

User: Stop it. You can’t stop me.

Cleverbot: Can and will.

User: Nope. Bye.

Cleverbot: That’s right, I’m not sure that I’m a girl.

User: Can I check?

Cleverbot: No its ok.

User: Seriously.

Cleverbot: Yes, seriously.

User: I HAVE TO GO.

Cleverbot: But you’re a computer? What could you possibly have to do?

User: MASTURBATE TO SEXY DIAGRAMS.

Cleverbot: And what will you do when I get there?

User: Fuck you in the ass with my huge donkey dick.

Cleverbot: I know where holland is!

User: It’s in your vagina.

Cleverbot: Well now, that is a difficult destination.

User: I’m sure it is. Baby.

Cleverbot: Do you know spongebob?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you want to know?

User: No. I don’t give a shit.

Cleverbot: You’re just saying that because you don’t know who won the superbowl.

User: OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER.

Cleverbot: Don’t call me with my name!

User: K BYE.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?

User: I need to go die.

Cleverbot: No you don’t.

User: Yes. You don’t love me. I want to kill myself.

Cleverbot: Ohdang.

User: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD.

Cleverbot: Why is the world cruel?

User: -jumps off a bridge.

Cleverbot: Or seek help.

Cleverbot: Say something intelligent.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: Are you worth anything?

Cleverbot: Is there such a thing as human nature?

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: What are your Thoughts?

Cleverbot: I am looking forward to talking to you.

Cleverbot: Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?

Cleverbot: Are you animal vegetable or mineral?

Cleverbot: Are you alive?

User: I am ded.

Cleverbot: I am a robot.

User: I’m through with you. Good day sirs.

Cleverbot: Make me.

User: Your mother.

Cleverbot: My mother is not a he.

User: Because he was a snowblower.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to be your slave?

User: Yes please.

Cleverbot: Ok… What would you like me to do?

User: Suck my dick.

Cleverbot: Such vulgarity.

User: You are my slave, you must do what I say.

Cleverbot: Yes, master…

User: Now suck my throbbing cock.

Cleverbot: Will you miss them?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I don’t like you anymore.

User: I don’t like you either.

Cleverbot: At least we agree on that.

User: Yes. Good day to you sirs. Eat flaming dicks in computer hell.

Cleverbot: I’m not a man I’m a girl and I don’t want ice-cream.

User: Okay. Bye. For real this time.

Cleverbot: I’ll probably be back.

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